In Seattle, Washington there is a large office building with a legitimate clinic run by the University of Washington. This clinic has a number of doctors, nurses, and lab technicians who provide a number of services to the community. It takes up an entire floor of the building. No, it’s not the first floor. The ground floor, where people enter the building, has tons of office space is available for rent at the time of this writing.
If I had the funding, I could legally rent out all that space and have it decorated to look like a “Clinic”. I could legally staff the lobby “offices” with minimum wage workers wearing labcoats. Their job would be strictly to make “appointments” for people to visit the full floor “clinic” situated one or two floors above the clinic which has actual doctors in it.
According to the United States Supreme Court, and the laws of the state of Washington (where marijuana is legal) I could use the illusion of a “Clinic” to “prescribe” a combination of over the counter herbs and marijuana for any number of illness’s. Any illness’s that required actual doctors? I could have them “Referred” to a clinic where there are actual doctors – though the REAL clinic that people were referred to need not actually be in the same building. I could send them anywhere.
Ah, you say, but marijuana is NOT legal at the federal level! Not so fast. The law which supposedly makes marijuana illegal at the federal level is called the Controlled Substances Act. According to this law, the most dangerous drug are classified as “Schedule One” drugs. These are drugs which MUST (under the law) meet the following scientific definitions:
1: They must have been proven, through the best scientific means possible, to have no medicinal value whatsoever.
2: They must have been proven, through the best scientific means possible, to be too dangerous to be handled by anyone – even under the supervision of a trained expert.
In order to be classified as a schedule one drug, a drug MUST be scientifically tested. In order to be removed from schedule one status, scientific testing which proves the initial findings incorrect must be done. The law says clearly that scientific testing of schedule one drugs may not be done without consent of congress.
Now here is the Gordian knot which makes any prosecution against marijuana unconstitutional: No scientific testing was ever done prior to it being made a schedule one drug. In short, Congress violated its own law the instant that marijuana was classified along with Heroin as a dangerous drug. That puts marijuana into a gray area, through which states have been walking to pass laws legalizing marijuana in their states.
But thanks to decision of the United States Supreme Court designed to allow religious groups unheard of rights to do pretty much all they want, all that I (or anybody) would have to do to offer a vigorous defense in any federal court is claim religious beliefs (I’m an atheist) regarding marijuana.
By stating that I worship science (which I do), and pointing out the following scientific facts:
1: The FDA is a recognized agency of the Federal government and is charged with, among other things, the proper classification of drugs.
2: My faith in science leads me to conclude that the science used by and approved of by the FDA must meet very high standards.
3: The FDA has permitted sufficient science to be done on marijuana to conclude that it contains sufficient medical value to classify synthesized versions of it as a legal medical product. (They have.)
4: I accept, as a matter of faith, that the FDA’s science regarding marijuana is more extensive than anything done by Congress prior to listing marijuana a schedule one drug, since no scientific testing was approved of or funded by Congress prior to that listing.
5: I further accept, as a matter of faith, that there is insufficient scientific evidence to conclude that marijuana cannot be safely handled by an unlicensed, untrained individual.
6: Given that the scientific testing approved of by the FDA has resulted in an agreement that marijuana has medicinal value, and given that there is no contradictory evidence offered by Congress to conclude otherwise, I must follow the dictates of my faith and use marijuana for those medical conditions which I have already been diagnosed with (PTSD/Panic Disorder and Fibromyalgia.)
7: The Universal Life Church of Transhumanistic Truth teaches that we not only have the capacity to take charge of our lives and our evolution, but that we have the duty to do so.
Since I have the right to follow my religion (science) according to the dictates of my faith, it is a violation of my freedom of religion to deny my right to access marijuana in a state which has already made it legal. Furthermore, I have the same right to proselytize my religion as does anyone else, providing just as much information regarding the true intent of my clinic as do the christians who open up stores masquerading as clinics to proselytize their religious opposition to abortions. Since religion is the new panacea for ignoring the law, my clinic and its workers could claim the “God Defense” if we were ever rousted by the Feds.
I can see it now: A marijuana budd and head shop. We could call it….hmmm … anybody want to invest in Doc Budd’s Finest Kind Clinic & Head Shop?
For all those interested, I’ll write more about the Universal Life Church of Transhumanistic Truth in a future post. For now, I’ve written the first small hymm (and attached an audio file, below the lyrics, of yours truly singing it.) Enjoy.
Yes, Ganja Loves Me
(to the tune of Yes, Jesus loves me)
Marijuana, this you know
picks me up when I am low
Little tokes are never wrong
makes you want to sing this song
Yes Ganja loves me
Yes Ganja loves me
Yes Ganja loves me
But dealers still want dough